Here we go again!
I have been trying for years to lose weight, and successfully keep it off.
New Years 2009 I had it in my mind that this year was going to be my year. Come to think of it I probably thought that New years 2008, 2007, 2006, 2005 etc etc. Of all the things I have ever struggled with my entire life, weight has been the absolute worst. You can get over a fight with a friend, or a bad day at work, the petty things in life. But, you can NEVER "get over" your weight.
I am not saying that it is not possible for a person to accept themselves for who they are and to love themselves exactly as they are, I believe its possible for everybody in the world to have a good self esteem! I am simply suggesting that for some people if you are overweight numbers constantly rule your life and you can never get passed that. Its always about, points, or calories, or the size clothing you wear. Pounds, grams, inches, kilos, there is always going to be something about these numbers that will follow you around.
So back to New Years 2009, I had it in my head that this was it! I was going to get my weight under control, lose all the baby weight, be a fit happy healthy mama and for once in my life be comfortable and happy in my own skin. Started back with following my Weight Watchers program on my own on January 4th 2009. My first week I lost 17 pounds! That gives you an idea of how much garbage I was shoveling into my mouth prior to recommitting to whittling my waist. Most of the month of January I was on the ball! Wrote everything down, started to exercise everyday, even put my dog on a diet! He did well, lost a pound in a month! Then life managed to get in the way again.
One of my biggest problems is that my emotions have absolute power over me when it comes to my commitment to a healthy lifestyle. The worst part of this, is something can be bothering me, and I will not even be aware of it, until I realize that I just ate a pint of ice cream, 2 double cheese burgers, half of a pie or whatever it may be! Then I try to figure out what is bothering me, and I have no clue! Or I can identify whats wrong, some things I have the power to control, others I have absolutely no say in the outcome of the situation so the best I can do is to try to not let that situation bother me.
Not a good situation for a person who wears their heart on their sleeve! I am a very emotional type of person and the smallest of circumstances can get the best of me when most people would just move on and wash their hands of what is bothering them. I tend to always let things linger much longer than they need to but I do not know why I do that!
Or I will have forgotten about something and all of a sudden have a flash back memory of something that happened eons ago but had a profound emotional impact on me.
For example, in the 6th grade my family moved to the other side of town so I had to go to a new school. I remember it being near the end of the school year, I had friends but I also had to deal with a lot of bully's. I recall making a joke over something (I can still remember exactly what over) and one of the kids that would bully me said "Shut up C". That comment continued to sting me until about a year ago!
Now I know that seems a little bit ridiculous but it did! I would be going about my business and all of a sudden my mind would just zip back to that instance and I would feel so guilty and sad and hurt that I was treated so piss poor by these people. I know that when it comes to having a bully (or several, as was my situation) that they have issues of their own and use the bullying as a way to feel better about themselves but the petty and insignificant things that were said to me directly and about me that I have overheard from that time absolutely destroyed any self esteem I had! Sadly, I don't think I've ever found a way to get it back!
But I state here and now, that I never want to be the victim again! There are things inside of all of us that we don't like and there are even some physical attributes that we do not like! But of the things about us that we do not like, we as individuals are the only people who can change those things. If you don't like your nose and you have the money and are 100% behind your choice, you can get a nose job, if you don't like your eye color you can get colored contacts, if you don't like your weight, you can do what it takes to lose weight.
Simple right? WRONG! Losing weight is seriously so hard. For anybody who has EVER struggled with their weight, we all know what it takes to lose weight, we are not stupid, but there are so many things that make it so difficult to keep the weight we do lose off! Everybody knows, eat less move more, but do you suppose it is that simplistic? Absolutely not! Particularly when you are an emotional eater!
But the fact of the matter is that everybody has the power within them to accomplish their goals. We just have to go about it with the right attitude, learn from our experiences and pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and get back on the wagon when we fall off it. The longer we dwell on the mistakes we have made in our attempt at a healthier lifestyle the longer we are still making those mistakes instead of getting back on track!
So here I am, dusting myself off and going to get back on my wagon. I do not want to just think of myself as going on a diet to lose weight then once my goal has been obtained to just fly by the seat of my pants. I am a thinker, I am constantly planing ideas in my head. One of my many other problems, is the follow through! But working towards a goal means that you have work.
My new plan involves a handy little gadget! Introducing my new BFF, the Body Bugg! Anybody who has ever seen The Biggest Loser, may have seen these before! It is actually where I first learned about the Body Bugg and the curiosity that it sparked lingered then went away. Until Season 8 of TBL was airing! I decided to do some research and when I saw the price tag (on sale $199 USD) I thought to myself that no I really didn't need one as I was trying to save some money and wasn't exactly in the financial situation to get one.
Well I had some extra money in the bank and I decided its my time to get one. Living in Canada meant having to buy mine on Ebay (the seller I bought from is a distributor in the US and sells them brand new in the original packaging) and having the Canadian Dollar just about on par with the US Dollar, I didn't fare out too poorly! This is what was included with the purchase of my Bugg:
- The Body Bugg armband
- Two straps (1 medium, 1 large!)
- One USB cable
- User guide and getting started card
- 6 month subscription to the BodyBugg website
- 1 free 45 minute phone session with a BodyBugg coach
So my Bugg hasn't arrived in the mail yet but I am so thrilled to be getting it. I have read great reviews about the Bugg itself as well as the website as a tool for weight loss. I just feel that if I have an idea of how many calories I am burning then it will be easier to insure that I am losing weight. I honestly feel that my body doesn't burn like most peoples bodies do! So using my Bugg (Which is 90% accurate!) will let me have better control over my calorie deficit required to lose weight.
I am going to use this blog as often as I can, it can be difficult with a 7.5 month old child, but I need to be on the computer to upload my information from my Bugg so there is no reason why I shouldn't be able to update my blog. It is my goal to give people an idea of what the Bugg is all about for anybody who may be looking for a first hand account of how the BodyBugg works and if it is a good product or not. But also to utilize this and get my weight down once and for all. I recognize that sometimes there will be bumps in the road, but I am going to have to be my own personal paving crew, fix the bumps and keep on traveling down that road!
If anybody is still reading at this point, I apologize that this post is so long, I just needed to start somewhere and spilling my thoughts out onto my keyboard seemed the best idea!
When my Bugg arrives, I will do the unthinkable and take my initial weigh-in and measurements (yes I will be posting these). I will think of my goals to try to have a clear idea for myself and will post again then.
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